Well I've been away for a while. My pain is getting worse not better and it's left me in a place of loathing. I'm sad because I can't train like I want and I'm angry with myself because I can't train the way I want. It hurts to train the way I want and the pain won't ever stop from going away. so why blog when the pain hurts so bad.I've committed to this team and it hurts to admit the pain I'm in. You aren't mind readers and unless I tell you the pain you have no idea what I'm going through. I've been in pain for months now and the doctors are not co operating by not telling me anything helpful.
this is painful to write because of all the silent suffering and we all promised to blog again so here I am. I want things to get better but they aren't and it's so hard to try to come on the mats it hurts to do repetitions yet here we all are doing an insane amount of repetitions. I don't know why I'm still here it hurts so bad at the worst possible moments and I'm letting the team down continually.Please help. Sifu nJeannette Langner
